A mountain out of a mole hill

Hello, world! It's been so long since I blogged that I couldn't remember my login id or password. (Thank God for saved passwords.) I particularly wanted to sign in and tell you how proud of myself I am for completing an entire portion of a manuscript that had been sitting for some time. The icon seemed to be just glaring at me from my desktop as I continued to ignore it as much as possible. I've had the last bit of data for over two months now. I thought I was getting burned out on resesarch again or that I should start considering another career path ... perhaps something very non-scientific like narrating children's audiobooks.

I sought counsel - there is safety in a multitude of counselors. Yesterday, a very non-STEM professor said I should schedule research hours, which wasn't anything that I hadn't heard at every workshop. But, the manner in which he advised that I approach those research hours was to be INFLEXIBLE. That word stuck with me. He went on to explain that everything else should be scheduled around my research, not the other way around. Yes, yes. We've all been told that, but no one ever used the word INFLEXIBLE with me in this context. It stuck.

So, at my INFLEXIBLY scheduled writing time this Friday night in the local coffee shop surrounded by mostly people who are socializing instead of working, what I discovered is that it wasn't an assistant professor crisis I was having, but simply a bit of writer's block on a particularly difficult portion of the manuscript. Instead of working on another less challenging section, I had been avoiding it altogether. This turned into a self-perceived inability to complete and submit a manuscript for peer review, which turned into a downward spiraling pit from tenure track hell. After I tackled that dread section with that INFLEXIBLE attitude, my world as a lowly assistant professor suddenly seemed not so low.

Funny how mole hills turn into mountains. Fantastic that they can become mole hills again.

Another long night ...

I'm lounging on my favorite armchair and ottoman. They're both upholstered in this funky pattern that I just had to have when I saw it - quite a splurge in grad school. I'd gone along with a girlfriend who was looking for a breakfast table during furniture sales that Labor Day. She ended up with a recliner and I came home with a living room set. Honestly, I could care less about the loveseat and sofa, but I relish this chair. My dissertation was half written from this chair in a typical graduate student studio apartment (complete with cinderblock walls). The other half was written at Starkbucks (before they had any type of broadband).

Fast forward past the sweat, tears, blood and long nights of grad school and here I am in my first tenure-track appointment. Now, this chair resides in my own home beside a now roaring fireplace in my living room, which is wireless equipped, thank-you-very-much. With one of my best silver rimmed wine glasses filled at my side and my dog asleep at my feet, I'm enjoying The Best of Yellow Jackets on my iPod Nano piped through my stereo. I'm determined to finish this article review, which is already embarrassingly late. At least I gave up the delusion of finishing that answer key.

Some things change, some things don't. At the end of another long day, it'll be another long night, but I'm enjoying the moment for what it's worth.

Me, Ph.D.

This is what I'm dealing with ...

Someone in my upper administration stopped me in the hall the other day. He said he and a secretary had been having a discussion about something they found surprising. He said there had to be a scientific reason for this phenomenon and realized he could ask me. I immediately put on my research/scientist/scholar cap, thinking it must be a scientific question related to my research expertise. The question ... are youready for this ...

"Why can't blacks have twins?"

My jaw dropped. I managed to ask, "What?" He repeated the question, just as earnestly and sincerely as possible. Dumbstruck, I said, "Blacks CAN have twins." He asked, "Are you sure." I said, "Yes. Blacks can and do have twins and other multiples." He asked in awe, "Do you know any?" I said, "Yes, in fact my family includes twins and triplets." He asked, "Really?" I said, "Yes." He paused, thenreplied, "Okay. Mystery solved!"

The only mystery here is how he got tenured and promoted.

What I should have said was ... yes, it's true. Blacks can't reproduce in multiples like whites can. That's how we became the minority.

Or, how about this version ... no, that's not true ... yada, yada, yada ... in fact Oprah is a twin. They just don't talk as much about the other one you know. Plus, OJ Simpson is a twin. That's how they botched the trial ... it was really his twin that did it. The blackcommunity has been harboring that secret for years now.

My dad tried to reason that maybe this administrator had not had much experience with black people. That might hold water if he hadn't spent his entire career in the deep south (and I'm not talking Florida). DatFuule just laughed hysterically. For like an hour. Really.

Just a placeholder.

I've declared a moratorium on the news and am feeling much better now. I'm sleeping now, watching Girlfriends instead of Shepard Smith, and haven't had a crying-induced headache in a while. Instead, I'm occassionally (i.e., a few times a week) surfing the news websites. I'm finding that a lot easier to moderate and finding the world a lot easier to handle in small doses.

Don't get it twisted; by shutting off the tv, I haven't become blind, ignorant or dumb. I look back on my rants and am still just as enraged at the injustice of it all. The photos of the lower ninth ward still bring horror to my heart and tears to my eyes. I actually have an 'evacuee' residing in my guest room and a few salvaged momentos of a life and home gone in my closests. Katrina is hard to totally escape altogether, and her far reaching impact still complicates life.

After being totally disfunctional for a week or two I've been playing such catch up at work that I haven't had time to update my blog. Hence this place holder.

Just as leading zeros don't convey meaning other than to serve as a placeholder, this posting serves to space out other information so that information can have the appropriate meaning.

This way, you won't read my next blog and wonder ... how da heck did she go from talking about Bull Conner to talking about ...

"George Bush is our Bull Conner"

Charlie Rangel stated "George Bush is our Bull Conner", providing a metaphoric linkage of our current president to the late Theophilus "Bull" Connor, who in 1963 ordered the use of fire hoses and attack dogs against blacks demonstrating in favor of equal rights. Many have said this is an extreme and absurd analogy but it's right on target. I heard Rangel explain his comment on Hannity and Colmes (Dumb and Dumber with microphones) and he's acutely accurate in his depiction. Bull Conner's actions brought attention to the injustices Blacks faced during that
time period. America could not afford to look the other way anymore. Bush's actions and inactions have brought global attention to the plight of African Americans in the poorest communities in our nation - those in New Orleans, LA. Many health care providers and media personnel responding during the aftermath of Katrina all remarked over and over again about the extensive pre-Katrina, pre-exisiting health disparities among the evacuees. The world heard report after report from vicitims, American citizens, would couldn't put verbs and nouns together in English well as Tsunami victims from across the ocean. American now knows that the average New Orleanian couldn't fuel up their SUVs, book a hotel room using their credit cards, or withdraw money from their bank account in preparation for the storm because they don't have those things! They also don't have adequate health care. They don't have a functional education system. They don't have jobs paying a decent minimum wage. They have very little hope for the future and live in desperation on a daily basis. Are they being attacked with fire hoses and attack dogs at large? No. But, the injustices being suffered now are relatively the same.

So, does the response of Bush's administration during this recent tragedy expose these injustices for the world to see just the same asBull Conner? Hell yeah! George Bush is our Bull Conner!!

Why U still talking?

CNN.com : "My biggest mistake was not recognizing by Saturday that Louisiana was dysfunctional," Brown told a special congressional panel set up by House Republican leaders to investigate the catastrophe. (Watch Brown's comments -- 3:02)

Me, PhD: So, let's do all we can to further marginalize people the current highest goverment leaders would rather not think about. A whole state to boot! Brown says he couldn't convince Blanco and Nagin to order mandatory evacuations. Uh ... On Saturday, there was a voluntary evacuation ordered. On Sunday, when we knew it would hit New Orleans, there was a MANDATORY evacuation ordered. Does Brown not have internet, tv, telephone, radio or newspaper services??? Is the man just that incompetent or does he believe we'll just swallow his blatant lies. Well, the congressional representatives holding the investigation might, but Mr. Bush, Mr. Brown, the American people aren't that damn stupid. He also went on to say it's not his fault the governors of Mississippi and Alabama are republicans and did have evacuations, but that their political affiliations don't matter to him. Why [did] *you* bring it up then????

CNN.com:[Committee Chairman Tom Davis] pushed Brown on what he and the agency he led should have done to evacuate New Orleans, restore order in the city and improve communication among law enforcement agencies. Brown said: "Those are not FEMA roles. FEMA doesn't evacuate communities. FEMA does not do law enforcement. FEMA does not do communications."

Me, PhD: What the hell does FEMA do then???? I mean, beside provide jobs for homeboy hook-ups.

FEMA.gov: "As it has for more than 20 years, FEMA's mission remains: to lead America to prepare for, prevent, respond to and recover from disasters with a vision of "A Nation Prepared."

Me, PhD: Mike Brown needed to read his damn job description when his homeboy offered him the job. Sometimes, just sometimes, you actually have to do work and be accountable. And, I tell ya what - the government does not seem to be able to hold Mike Brown accountable. I have a few homeboys of my own from New Orleans. Appoint them a homeboy hook-up of the job of holding Brown accountable and I'll betcha they get the job done.

Man, just give me a few minutes in a room alone with Mike Brown. I'll show him just how dsyfunctional a Southern Girl can be!

Enough to make you lose your religion ...

From FoxNews.com on Sept 6th -

"The government's disaster chief waited until hours after Hurricane Katrina had already struck the Gulf Coast before asking his boss to dispatch 1,000 Homeland Security employees to the region * and gave them two days to arrive, according to internal documents."

Further Insult to Injury

From www.nola.com on Sept 5, 2005 ...

"Gov. Kathleen Blanco canceled a scheduled trip Monday to visit Louisiana evacuees in Houston shelters to stay in Baton Rouge to meetwith President Bush.

Blanco Communications Director Bob Mann said the governor did not learn about the Bush visit until early Monday morning.

"We had no idea the president was coming," Mann said.

Tension between the Blanco and Bush administrations has surfaced in recent days as state and federal officials try to coordinate recovery efforts in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. The Blanco administration clearly wanted to express their irritation with the communication aboutthe president's trip.

Blanco officials said they had heard that the president might make a visit and had been trying to get details. As of late Sunday night, FEMA officials told Blanco that the president was not planning a visit, Mannsaid."

Flag @ Half Staff????

Uh, I know the Chief Justice was really important and all, but - uh - why the flag wasn't already at half staff for the Hurricane Katrina disaster???